Ungraduated
Below is an excerpt from Lacking, an essay by HR in Hindsight 20/Something, a collection of perspectives on the quarter-life crisis. Read the full version and learn more about the collection here.
HR
I wish that I were more like you guys,
but I’m not. I wish that I could’ve
graduated with you, but I didn’t.
I wish that I had
any visible talent, but I don’t.
H sniffs and wipes his nose with the back of his hand.
HR
It’s so exhausting, you know?
It’s like…
WILL
What?
HR
It’s like your brain is telling you not to be the
best possible version of yourself, even though
that’s all you want to be.
HR points at himself. He has a desperate look in his eye.
HR
I hate me. But I don’t want to hate me!
And then it’s kind of circular or whatever
because being this way — feeling these things —
makes me feel like even more of a failure.
Beat.
ZERO
I don’t think that excuses your actions.
HR
Hey, I’m not looking for an excuse.
I’m just explaining myself. If you
won’t even try to understand, then
we’re done here.
HR walks out of the house, exasperated. He slams the door behind him.